{"id":86,"date":"2011-11-04T15:14:45","date_gmt":"2011-11-04T15:14:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.daft-ideas.co.uk\/?p=86"},"modified":"2011-11-15T12:38:10","modified_gmt":"2011-11-15T12:38:10","slug":"rockpapershotgun-and-horace-the-endless-tech","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.daft-ideas.co.uk\/2011\/11\/04\/rockpapershotgun-and-horace-the-endless-tech\/","title":{"rendered":"Rockpapershotgun, and Horace, the endless tech."},"content":{"rendered":"

http:\/\/www.rockpapershotgun.com<\/a><\/p>\n

RPS is down. Or maybe replaced. Instead, there is a text adventure game there:<\/p>\n

\n
\n

503 –\u00a0Service Unavailable
\nAn Interactive Fiction by Horace The Endless Server Technician
\nRelease 1\u00a0\/ Serial number 110707 \/\u00a0Inform 7\u00a0build 6E72 (I6\/v6.31 lib 6\/12N)<\/p>\n

HTTP Error
\nYou are standing at the entrance to Castle Shotgun. The gates are securely locked, with an unappealing sign on the front. The sign reads “Whoops! RPS is having a\u00a0bit of a\u00a0wobbly. Don’t worry, we’ll be back soon!”<\/p>\n

To the left of the gates is a\u00a0large opening in the wall, which Jim is leaning into. John is perched on a\u00a0small rock nearby, while Alec and Tim are standing on the other side of the gates. A\u00a0pile of magazines is scattered in a\u00a0corner.<\/p>\n

You can see Jim, John, Tim, Alec and a\u00a0Refresh Button here.<\/p>\n

>refresh
\nThat’s not a\u00a0verb I\u00a0recognise.<\/p>\n

>look
\nHTTP Error
\nYou are standing at the entrance to Castle Shotgun. The gates are securely locked, with an unappealing sign on the front. The sign reads “Whoops! RPS is having a\u00a0bit of a\u00a0wobbly. Don’t worry, we’ll be back soon!”<\/p>\n

To the left of the gates is a\u00a0large opening in the wall, which Jim is leaning into. John is perched on a\u00a0small rock nearby, while Alec and Tim are standing on the other side of the gates. A\u00a0pile of magazines is scattered in a\u00a0corner.<\/p>\n

You can see Jim, John, Tim, Alec and a\u00a0Refresh Button here.<\/p>\n

>go north
\nYou can’t go that way.<\/p>\n

>go south
\nYou can’t go that way.<\/p>\n

>go s
\nYou can’t go that way.<\/p>\n

>go up
\nYou can’t go that way.<\/p>\n

>sleep
\nYou aren’t feeling especially drowsy.<\/p>\n

>eat
\nWhat do you want to eat?<\/p>\n

>eat shoes
\nYou can’t see any such thing.<\/p>\n

>look
\nHTTP Error
\nYou are standing at the entrance to Castle Shotgun. The gates are securely locked, with an unappealing sign on the front. The sign reads “Whoops! RPS is having a\u00a0bit of a\u00a0wobbly. Don’t worry, we’ll be back soon!”<\/p>\n

To the left of the gates is a\u00a0large opening in the wall, which Jim is leaning into. John is perched on a\u00a0small rock nearby, while Alec and Tim are standing on the other side of the gates. A\u00a0pile of magazines is scattered in a\u00a0corner.<\/p>\n

You can see Jim, John, Tim, Alec and a\u00a0Refresh Button here.<\/p>\n

>eat cast,e
\nYou can’t see any such thing.<\/p>\n

>eat jim
\n(first taking Jim)
\nI don’t suppose Jim would care for that.<\/p>\n

>eat John
\n(first taking John)
\nI don’t suppose John would care for that.<\/p>\n

>eat Tim
\n(first taking Tim)
\nI don’t suppose Tim would care for that.<\/p>\n

>eat Alec
\n(first taking Alec)
\nI don’t suppose Alec would care for that.<\/p>\n

>look at Alec
\nOn closer inspection, Alec appears to be gluing bits of Warhammer 40k model armour to his shoulders and chest.<\/p>\n

He picks up a\u00a0plastic lascannon and tries it out on his left nipple.<\/p>\n

>look Jim
\nHis top hat and procedurally-generated facial hair gives him away in a\u00a0second –\u00a0this is Jim Rossignol, wordsmith and crazed steampunk inventor.<\/p>\n

Jim is hunched over an opening in the Castle Shotgun walls, from which various wires are trailing. There is the occasional spark and fizz as he rummages around.<\/p>\n

>look John
\nJohn sits hunched over on a\u00a0stone at the foot of Castle Shotgun’s walls, head in hands groaning to himself. There are several empty rum bottles nearby, one of which appears to have an Asda logo on it.<\/p>\n

>drink rum
\nYou can’t see any such thing.<\/p>\n

>look Tim
\nTim is standing on a\u00a0small outcrop, binoculars in one hand, looking out eastwards. Unfortunately, east of here is just the M4 corridor, but east is the direction heroes look in, as evidenced by his stony glare.
\nHe takes a\u00a0deep breath. “I love the smell of Bath in the morning.”<\/p>\n

>talk Tim
\nI didn’t understand that sentence.<\/p>\n

>look
\nHTTP Error
\nYou are standing at the entrance to Castle Shotgun. The gates are securely locked, with an unappealing sign on the front. The sign reads “Whoops! RPS is having a\u00a0bit of a\u00a0wobbly. Don’t worry, we’ll be back soon!”<\/p>\n

To the left of the gates is a\u00a0large opening in the wall, which Jim is leaning into. John is perched on a\u00a0small rock nearby, while Alec and Tim are standing on the other side of the gates. A\u00a0pile of magazines is scattered in a\u00a0corner.<\/p>\n

You can see Jim, John, Tim, Alec and a\u00a0Refresh Button here.<\/p>\n

>pickup Tim
\nThat’s not a\u00a0verb I\u00a0recognise.<\/p>\n

>pick up tim
\nI don’t suppose Tim would care for that.<\/p>\n

>talk alec
\nI didn’t understand that sentence.<\/p>\n

>look alec
\nOn closer inspection, Alec appears to be gluing bits of Warhammer 40k model armour to his shoulders and chest.<\/p>\n

Alec clears his throat and tests out his Librarian imitation. It’s not bad.<\/p>\n

>help
\nThat’s not a\u00a0verb I\u00a0recognise.<\/p>\n

>die
\nThat’s not a\u00a0verb I\u00a0recognise.<\/p>\n

>kill
\nWhat do you want to kill?<\/p>\n

>kill Alec
\nViolence isn’t the answer to this one.<\/p>\n

>kill Jim
\nViolence isn’t the answer to this one.<\/p>\n

>Kill seld
\nYou can’t see any such thing.<\/p>\n

>Kill self
\nViolence isn’t the answer to this one.<\/p>\n

>kill me
\nViolence isn’t the answer to this one.<\/p>\n

>talk me
\nI didn’t understand that sentence.<\/p>\n

>look
\nHTTP Error
\nYou are standing at the entrance to Castle Shotgun. The gates are securely locked, with an unappealing sign on the front. The sign reads “Whoops! RPS is having a\u00a0bit of a\u00a0wobbly. Don’t worry, we’ll be back soon!”<\/p>\n

To the left of the gates is a\u00a0large opening in the wall, which Jim is leaning into. John is perched on a\u00a0small rock nearby, while Alec and Tim are standing on the other side of the gates. A\u00a0pile of magazines is scattered in a\u00a0corner.<\/p>\n

You can see Jim, John, Tim, Alec and a\u00a0Refresh Button here.<\/p>\n

>talk to jim
\nJim doesn’t take his head out of the hole in the wall. You hear him muttering to himself.<\/p>\n

“Yes, it must be the… no, unless it’s the… Hmm.”<\/p>\n

>talk to john
\nJohn looks up. “Hmm? No, I\u00a0didn’t lock us out. We’re just having a\u00a0bit of trouble with Horace. We’ll have it working again in a\u00a0tick.”<\/p>\n

He resumes nursing his headache.<\/p>\n

>talk horace
\nI didn’t understand that sentence.<\/p>\n

>talk jogn
\nI didn’t understand that sentence.<\/p>\n

>talk to john
\nJohn looks up. “Hmm? No, I\u00a0didn’t lock us out. We’re just having a\u00a0bit of trouble with Horace. We’ll have it working again in a\u00a0tick.”<\/p>\n

He resumes nursing his headache.<\/p>\n

>talk to tim
\nYou don’t feel like talking tactics right now, and Tim is looking rather intense at the moment.<\/p>\n

>look tim
\nTim is standing on a\u00a0small outcrop, binoculars in one hand, looking out eastwards. Unfortunately, east of here is just the M4 corridor, but east is the direction heroes look in, as evidenced by his stony glare.
\nHe pulls out a\u00a0script from “Patton” and flicks through it, mouthing a\u00a0few lines to himself.<\/p>\n

>talk to alec
\nAlec seems a\u00a0bit involved with sticking plastic armour to himself to reply. It’s probably best to leave him alone when he’s arming up, anyway.<\/p>\n

>look
\nHTTP Error
\nYou are standing at the entrance to Castle Shotgun. The gates are securely locked, with an unappealing sign on the front. The sign reads “Whoops! RPS is having a\u00a0bit of a\u00a0wobbly. Don’t worry, we’ll be back soon!”<\/p>\n

To the left of the gates is a\u00a0large opening in the wall, which Jim is leaning into. John is perched on a\u00a0small rock nearby, while Alec and Tim are standing on the other side of the gates. A\u00a0pile of magazines is scattered in a\u00a0corner.<\/p>\n

You can see Jim, John, Tim, Alec and a\u00a0Refresh Button here.<\/p>\n

>pick up magazines
\nThey’re not yours to take, really. I’m sure no-one would mind you looking at them though.<\/p>\n

>look at magazines
\nYou grab a\u00a0magazine at random. It’s the latest issue of Your Cat magazine! You’ve read this issue at least four times though, so you put it back.
\nYou notice an old copy of Amiga Power in the pile.<\/p>\n

>look at amiga power
\nAn old copy of some obscure, arcane tome. The glyphs on the front are mysterious, and appealing.<\/p>\n

>look at glyphs
\nYou can’t see any such thing.<\/p>\n

>read glyphs
\nYou can’t see any such thing.<\/p>\n

>read amiga power
\nAn old copy of some obscure, arcane tome. The glyphs on the front are mysterious, and appealing.<\/p>\n

>look
\nHTTP Error
\nYou are standing at the entrance to Castle Shotgun. The gates are securely locked, with an unappealing sign on the front. The sign reads “Whoops! RPS is having a\u00a0bit of a\u00a0wobbly. Don’t worry, we’ll be back soon!”<\/p>\n

To the left of the gates is a\u00a0large opening in the wall, which Jim is leaning into. John is perched on a\u00a0small rock nearby, while Alec and Tim are standing on the other side of the gates. A\u00a0pile of magazines is scattered in a\u00a0corner.<\/p>\n

You can see Jim, John, Tim, Alec and a\u00a0Refresh Button here.<\/p>\n

>look at wall
\nYou peek at the hole in the wall. There is a\u00a0mess of wiring and tubes, and what appears to be the midriff of a\u00a0particularly long animal. You peer down the inside of the wall in both directions, but see no evidence of legs or a\u00a0head. Weird.<\/p>\n

>look at wires
\nYou can’t see any such thing.<\/p>\n

>look at mess
\nYou can’t see any such thing.<\/p>\n

>look at tubes
\nYou can’t see any such thing.<\/p>\n

>look at animal
\nYou can’t see any such thing.<\/p>\n

>look at midriff
\nYou can’t see any such thing.<\/p>\n

>look at wall
\nYou peek at the hole in the wall. There is a\u00a0mess of wiring and tubes, and what appears to be the midriff of a\u00a0particularly long animal. You peer down the inside of the wall in both directions, but see no evidence of legs or a\u00a0head. Weird.<\/p>\n

>look
\nHTTP Error
\nYou are standing at the entrance to Castle Shotgun. The gates are securely locked, with an unappealing sign on the front. The sign reads “Whoops! RPS is having a\u00a0bit of a\u00a0wobbly. Don’t worry, we’ll be back soon!”<\/p>\n

To the left of the gates is a\u00a0large opening in the wall, which Jim is leaning into. John is perched on a\u00a0small rock nearby, while Alec and Tim are standing on the other side of the gates. A\u00a0pile of magazines is scattered in a\u00a0corner.<\/p>\n

You can see Jim, John, Tim, Alec and a\u00a0Refresh Button here.<\/p>\n

>open gates
\nYou can’t see any such thing.<\/p>\n

>look at castle
\nYou can’t see any such thing.<\/p>\n

>look castle
\nYou can’t see any such thing.<\/p>\n

>look magazines
\nYou pick up one of the magazines. It’s the latest issue of Guns And Conversation, John and Jim’s fanzine that they distribute around Bath. The cover story promises “Semi-autos and small talk” and an interview with a\u00a0man who has invented a\u00a0talking gun.
\nYou notice an old copy of Amiga Power in the pile.<\/p>\n

>pick up amiga power
\nYou reach for the magazine, but as you touch it it disintegrates in front of your eyes. In its place are the feet of a\u00a0man. That man is Kieron Gillen. He smiles down at you.<\/p>\n

>talk kieron
\nI didn’t understand that sentence.<\/p>\n

>look kieron
\nKieron’s figure is hard to make out, as his very flesh appears to emanate a\u00a0glowing white light. He floats approximately two inches off the ground, and is wearing glasses which, when peered into, appear to reflect visions of the future and past.
\nHe still looks a\u00a0bit like Jason Statham though.<\/p>\n

>talk kieron
\nI didn’t understand that sentence.<\/p>\n

>talk to kieron
\nYou open your mouth but the words fail to come. Without speaking, Kieron’s voice echoes inside of your head. He mentions something about Thief. Everything is right with the world.<\/p>\n

>look
\nHTTP Error
\nYou are standing at the entrance to Castle Shotgun. The gates are securely locked, with an unappealing sign on the front. The sign reads “Whoops! RPS is having a\u00a0bit of a\u00a0wobbly. Don’t worry, we’ll be back soon!”<\/p>\n

To the left of the gates is a\u00a0large opening in the wall, which Jim is leaning into. John is perched on a\u00a0small rock nearby, while Alec and Tim are standing on the other side of the gates. A\u00a0pile of magazines is scattered in a\u00a0corner.<\/p>\n

You can see Kieron, Jim,\u00a0John, Tim, Alec and a\u00a0Refresh Button here.<\/p>\n

This is the most fun I’ve ever had on a 404 page.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

http:\/\/www.rockpapershotgun.com RPS is down. Or maybe replaced. Instead, there is a text adventure game there: 503 –\u00a0Service Unavailable An Interactive Fiction by Horace The Endless Server Technician Release 1\u00a0\/ Serial number 110707 \/\u00a0Inform 7\u00a0build 6E72 (I6\/v6.31 lib 6\/12N) HTTP Error You are standing at the entrance to Castle Shotgun. The… Continue reading → <\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.daft-ideas.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/86"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.daft-ideas.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.daft-ideas.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.daft-ideas.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.daft-ideas.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=86"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/blog.daft-ideas.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/86\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":91,"href":"https:\/\/blog.daft-ideas.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/86\/revisions\/91"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.daft-ideas.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=86"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.daft-ideas.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=86"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.daft-ideas.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=86"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}